Star Trek TOS – Episode 4 – The Naked Time [Remastered]

Oh, I’m sorry, you probably heard me nerding out from all the way over there…

Watch this episode at


The crew is trippin’ balls. Sulu plays with his sword. The Enterprise hosts Friday night karaoke. And some planet might explode.

For some reason, the database doesn’t have this episode listed. It jumps from episode 3 to episode 5. So, here is a link to Wikipedia.

Click the picture for a full summary from


Spock and some guy [Red Shirt] beam down into what looks like a science lab. They’re wearing just fabulous shiny red haz-mat suits.

Everybody in the science lab, though, doesn’t look quite as fabulous. They’ve taken a trip to Popsicle Land. It looks like everyone has frozen in place doing their normal routine… except for one chick who was strangled… and one guy is in the shower with his clothes on…

The Red Shirt goes searching for clues, and gets a tickle in his nose. He takes off his glove to itch his face. Then, while bending down to scan a table without his glove on, a blood-looking substance jumps onto his hand. Then, he… smells his hand? What? I probably saw that wrong, but still, gross. He puts his glove on just in time for Spock to come in and tell him to be extra careful not to get contaminated.

DOOFUS. Cue dramatic zoom in on Spock.

SPOCK: It’s like nothing we’ve dealt with before.


They beam aboard and are given a clean bill of health by McCoy, except Red Shirt has the itchies. They can’t understand what could have caused all of the scientists to freeze to death in such a weird way. Oh, and it turns out that they have to figure all of this out before the planet implodes. Easy.

We finally get to see our first replicator! But Red Shirt, who is getting his food, seems to be having a Lady Macbeth, “Out, out damned spot!” moment. He’s trying to rub imaginary stuff off of his hands. Sulu comes in with another crewman, and his telling the crewman about his rapier:

SULU: Foil. It’s a rapier. A thin sword.
RILEY: All right. So what do you do with it?
SULU: What do you mean, what do you do with it?
RILEY: Self-defence? Mayhem? Shish kebab?

You knew this was coming.

Sulu and the crewman sit down at Red Shirt’s table and ask him if he’s OK. He stops rubbing his hands long enough to freak out at Sulu. “I need some Purell NOW!”

He gets so crazy that he threatens Sulu with a knife, then turns the knife on himself. They try to wrestle the dangerous butter knife away from him, but they end up falling down, and he falls on the knife. The other crewman who is NOT Sulu, goes to the comm to call for help. He’s got some of Red Shirt’s blood on him, and now he’s got a case of the hand-wipies.

It turns out that the planet is imploding faster than expected, and our new hand wiping friend is at the helm. Whoo boy. Sulu also is getting a bit of the Restless Finger Syndrome, too.

McCoy’s doing surgery on Red Shirt, but he’s not doing too well. Even though McCoy has stitched him back up, he dies. McCoy calls Kirk down to Sickbay, and while the Captain’s gone, Sulu decides that he wants to go work out at the gym with his buddy. His buddy (whose name is Kevin Riley) stays at his station, but is getting increasingly obnoxious. Spock sends him to Sickbay, and he staggers along the corridors like he’s completely wasted. I’m half expecting him to pee in the corner. He gets to Sickbay, and hits on Nurse Chapel, giving her the illness with his touch.

AND THEN WE GET A GREASED UP SULU IN THE CORRIDOR WITH HIS RAPIER! This might be the best thing I’ve ever seen. Man, he loves the sword, and he pricks himself with it, too. (So many jokes…)

No, man. We don't wanna play.

Just as things are getting dicey with the planet imploding, Sulu appears on the bridge with his sword and the funniest dialogue in the episode:

SULU: Richelieu, at last.
KIRK: Sulu, put that… put that thing away!
SULU: For honor, Queen, and France!
UHURA: Sulu.
UHURA: Sulu, give me that.
SULU: I’ll protect you, fair maiden.
UHURA: Sorry, neither.

Kirk manages to grab Sulu as he’s distracted, and Spock gives him the Vulcan nerve pinch. Yay! Now, Riley is on the intercom thinking that he’s the Captain, and is completely loopy. He’s locked Scotty out of Engineering. And they’ve only got twenty minutes until the ship burns up along with the planet. Riley continues wreaking havoc, and annoying everybody with his singing and royal proclamations. Unfortunately for everyone, since he’s in Engineering, he has control over everything.

Spock heads to Engineering, and along the way encounters a crewman who painted “Love Mankind” on the wall, and another who won’t stop serenading Janice Rand. He gets to Engineering, and Scotty is trying his hardest to break in.

The bridge is going crazy. The only people who are still sane are Kirk, Uhura, and Rand, and the ship is spinning wildly out of control. Spock makes his way to Sickbay, where Nurse Chapel starts giving him the seduction treatment. She professes her love for him, and gives him the illness as well.

CHAPEL: Mister Spock, (takes his hand) the men from Vulcan treat their women strangely. At least, people say that, but you’re part human too. I know you don’t, you couldn’t, hurt me, would you? I’m in love with you, Mister Spock. You, the human Mister Spock, the Vulcan Mister Spock.
SPOCK: Nurse, you should
CHAPEL: Christine, please. I see things, how honest you are. I know how you feel. You hide it, but you do have feeling. Oh, how we must hurt you, torture you.
SPOCK: I’m in control of my emotions.
CHAPEL: The others believe that. I don’t. I love you. I don’t know why, but I love you. I do love you just as you are. Oh, I love you.
SPOCK: I’m sorry.

Out in the corridor Spock starts slowly losing it. He ends up alone in the briefing room…

SPOCK: (close to tears) I’m in control of my emotions. Control of my emotions. I am an officer. An officer. My duty. My duty is, is. My duty is to, to. Too late. I’m sorry. To. Two, four, six. Six. Six times six.

I really can’t put into words how unsettling that scene is. It’s heartbreaking.

Kirk finds Spock, and another just amazingly awesome scene happens. Spock laments the fact that he never told his mother he loved her. Kirk gets the disease, and reveals that he’s in love with Janice Rand, but he can never be with her because he’s married to the ship.

KIRK: Where have you been? What happened?
SPOCK: My mother. I could never tell her I loved her.
KIRK: We’ve got four minutes, maybe five.
SPOCK: An Earth woman, living on a planet where love, emotion, is bad taste.
KIRK: We’ve got to risk a full-power start. The engines were shut off. No time to regenerate them. Do you hear me? We’ve got to risk a full-power start!
SPOCK: I respected my father, our customs. I was ashamed of my Earth blood. (Kirk slaps him) Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I’m ashamed.
KIRK: (hitting him repeatedly) You’ve got to hear me! We need a formula. We’ve got to risk implosion!
SPOCK: t’s never been done! Understand, Jim. I’ve spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings. (finally hits Kirk back)
KIRK: We’ve got to risk implosion. It’s our only chance.
SPOCK: It’s never been done.
KIRK: Don’t tell me that again, Science Officer! It’s a theory. It’s possible. We may go up into the biggest ball of fire since the last sun in these parts exploded, but we’ve got to take that one in ten thousand chance!
UHURA [OC]: Bridge to Captain. Engineer asked, did you find…
KIRK: Yes, I found Mister Spock! I’m talking to Mister Spock, do you understand?
UHURA: Yes, sir. Three and a half minutes left, Captain.
KIRK: I’ve got it, the disease. Love. You’re better off without it, and I’m better off without mine. This vessel, I give, she takes. She won’t permit me my life. I’ve got to live hers.
KIRK: I have a beautiful yeoman. Have you noticed her, Mister Spock? You’re allowed to notice her. The Captain’s not permitted… Now I know why it’s called she… Flesh… Woman to touch, to hold. A beach to walk on. A few days, no braid on my shoulder.

You feel so bad for him, especially in the next scene where he is sitting next to Rand on the bridge, gazes longingly at her, but does nothing about it.

McCoy finally figures out what is wrong with everybody, and begins administering the medication. I’m wondering, since he’s been dealing with all of these sick people, how he didn’t get it as well. Convenient.

They do some crazy science-y stuff to the engines, and all of a sudden everything is OK. But… hold on a minute… they’re going backward in time. Eventually the ship stops, and they are three days in the past. They’re caught in a time warp:

Let's do the Time Warp again!


SPOCK: This does open some intriguing prospects, Captain. Since the formula worked, we can go back in time, to any planet, any era.

Spock, don’t you understand how illogical it is to go back in time and start mucking things up? Well… maybe not. You’ve got a long way to go before you start whackying up the timeline in Star Trek.

The End!


Ecstasy is one hell of a drug.


I was going to give this episode a rating of Commander, but I’m in a good mood, so I’m going to give it a rating of Captain. 4 pips out of 4. It’s one of the most hilarious episodes of Trek that I’ve ever seen. Granted, the B-plot of the planet imploding is a little dull, and the time travel makes no sense at all, but it doesn’t detract from the fun. I think I’m becoming a fangirl for Sulu. OH MY!

TOMORROW ON THE STAR TREK CHALLENGE: The Enemy Within. I don’t think I’ve seen this one before, so we’re in for a real treat.

Live long and prosper,

Captain Painway


6 Responses to Star Trek TOS – Episode 4 – The Naked Time [Remastered]

  1. Steve says:

    Hey there… I’m really enjoying your challenge. Keep it up… here is just a little footnote – I had read some time ago that originally the Time Travel at the end of the episode was going to be a lead in to a second episode, which ultimately became “Tomorrow is Yesterday” which is why both episodes deal with the sling-shot/gravity well take on time travel.

    See link:

  2. Denim says:

    One of my favorite episodes. It was a treat to see this one again.

  3. Hell, after this episode, *I* was a fangirl for Sulu!!!

  4. Pingback: Star Trek TOS – Episode 13 – The Conscience of the King « The Star Trek Challenge

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